Our baby is gone...

Our baby Jade died this morning. She was only a year old. For the past two weeks, we have been going back and forth to the vet's office. We were referred to the University of Tennessee to go see a specialist, but while they were making the referral, the vet found some fluid in her abdomen. She was diagnosed with FIP, which is not treatable. They gave her fluids and steroids so that she could come home with us last night and have one more night at home. We held her, took pictures of her, made a pawprint to put on the box where we will keep her ashes.

We have had her since she was only ten days old. A little more than two weeks ago, she stopped eating. Since then, we have run blood tests for every feline disease on the planet. We have given three different antibiotics, steroids in various dosages, and the last week we have been feeding her by syringe twice a day. When they found the FIP, Sandy and I made the decision to let her go. The doctor said she might live a few more days, but we didn't want her to have to suffer. So today at 11:30 AM, we took Jade and Mitch to the vet. We held her and kissed her and told her what a good girl she is.

We wanted Mitch to know what happened, so that he can understand. So far, he seems to be okay. We are slowly taking Jade's things out of the bedroom. It looks empty. But it is better for Mitch, and probably for us, not to look at them.

I hate that she is gone. That I can't pet her anymore. That she won't sleep on my pillow with me anymore. But I feel relieved that she is not in pain. I feel relieved that she was not in pain before she died, that we were able to keep her from suffering. But it hurts. Last night, after the medication they gave her at the vet, she was able to move around, and purr, and act like a kitty for a little while. We took lots of pictures. We got to hold her and love on her and pet her silky fur. I am glad we were able to have that time, that she was able to give us one last night with the baby we have raised almost from birth.

She started a little empire of bottle feds. We don't think we will be able to go back to fostering kittens. After the holidays, we think we will be ready to bottle raise Mitch a kitten, like we did Jade. But I think that will be all. I don't think I could look at another parade of babies in and out of the house. Or be able to lose so many ever again. Especially now that the most important baby kitten of all is gone. I found some pictures of her that we have probably posted before, but here are a few of my favorites of our little girl.

Currently Watching Center Stage see related

Our puppies turned out to be Mastiffs. Beautiful, HUGE, Mastiffs. They were adopted a week ago Friday at eight weeks and thirteen pounds. We have a newish baby puppy named Mary. We got her a three weeks ago on a very rainy Sunday afternoon. She is almost seven weeks old now.  She had a serious roundworm infestation but now she is healthy and gaining weight very well. Our Himalayan kittens had their first vaccines this week, and they will go up for adoption in two more weeks.

We lost the kittens that were found in a dumpster. We suspect leukemia. Again. Two of them died one evening, and the third was very sick the next morning so she had to be put down. Their names were Herbie, Leni, and Rosie. They were beautiful.

When the Himalayans and Mary go up for adoption, we are taking a break. We need time with our animals. And I need some time to not worry about whether or not the animals in my home will be alive in the morning. Not that I have to worry right now. Mary and the Himalayans are past the dangerous stage. Which is nice.

So..... I have no life. None. I go to work. I feed kittens. I go to sleep. I get up at the crack of dawn to do it again. I never did need much sleep, but this is ridiculous! The last feeding I help with is usually around eleven. Sandy stays up to do the two AM feed. I get up at six and we do it again! Something is very wrong with this. I used to be UP until six!!

Okay, rant over. Tomorrow is Sandy's birthday. I made her a gift I hope she'll like. I'll post pictures after I give it to her.

She works until nine and we are going to a benefit for the Kentucky Fairness Alliance at the Bar at nine thirty. It will be a late night, but we want to go out at least a little on her birthday, you know.

Our pups got a new pen today. The new volunteer program/foster care coordinator had one she's letting us borrow. They can be out while we do other things and we don't have to worry about them getting out of the kitchen. Very exciting.

We took our three new kittens to the shelter for their health check this morning while my girls were in school. They are healthy. Not nearly big enough to be leukemia tested but healthy. So they are in the basement until they are big enough for the test. Then they can come out and meet Jade.

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much." -- Mother Teresa

Okay, so you probably know that I am not a very devout kind of person. But I like the quote. It seems to fit these days. We were called to the main shelter at LHS today to pick up three baby kittens who were found in a dumpster yesterday. They were brought to the shelter this afternoon because the lady who found them was not able to care for them. They are two weeks old or so. Beautiful babies. One dilute torti female, one gray female, one gray and white male. Very sweet, cuddly little things. Sandy will take them back to the shelter tomorrow to be impounded and tested for feline leukemia. If they are negative, they will come to stay with us until they are ready for adoption.

Our six Himalayan mix kittens will get their first taste of solid food tonight. The timing seems perfect. To get a new little litter just as the older one begins to need the bottle less. I hope it will work out for us to take a break after Memorial Day. We need a few weeks to ourselves.

This week has been rough. Today I took the final two kittens of the litter we brought home two weeks ago to the shelter to be euthanized. We got them at five days of age, still with umbilical cords attached. They weighed a bit under four ounces. Today, I weighed them at a feeding and their weight was exactly the same. They started out as six on the 1st. Asher died four days later on the 5th. Then Liam on the 11th . That night Sarah and Spot were euthanized at the emergeny vet. We took them all there, but the vet said Spike and Tipsy were healthy enough at the time for us to keep trying. So we did. And today we had to let them go. They weren't getting any better, and they were suffering. They died peacefully in my arms.

We have six more bottle fed kittens to care for, though. We picked them up on Wednesday night at 10:30 at night after we got a call from the care and control officer to meet him at the shelter for them. Sandy had spoken with the owner earlier in the evening about bringing them in. They are Himalayan mix. Beautiful, fluffy kitties. Four black, two gray. Three each of males and females.

Our puppies are weaned to kibble now, which is nice. They get to come out of their kennels to play now and not just for a feed. They are starting to bounce and play, and they have toys that they actually chew on now, instead of just laying on them.  It seems strange that they will be in homes of their own in a month.

I'm sad that we lost Asher, Liam, Sarah, Spot, Tipsy, and Spike. But I'm glad that we have more foster babies here at home to care for so that they can be adopted and loved. When I came home from the shelter, I took a shower and then I held our Jade and hugged her. I'm glad we have her. She's really the reason we do this at all.

So here's hoping the next week will be better.